Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Money, Money, Money, Mon-ey. MON-EY!

My hubs just finished going to court with the ex. We won and we lost. Basically, her child support doubled because of her lack of desire to be employed -we lost. The judge sided with us that since she  has no income that my hubs should claim my step son as long as he remains a dependent. That will help, a little at least, with his taxes.

We're still stinging from the increased child support. Even though I work and make a good living, I've gotten into couponing in the hopes of stretching our incomes. I'm literally sorting my coupons when my step son says "my Mom thinks she isn't getting enough money". I commented rather quickly that she is getting a TON of money for child support, especially since she refuses to pay for after school care or sports or anything else that might reduce her sole stable source of income ... child support.

I apologized right after I said it. I hate saying mean things about my husband's ex in front of his son. I always feel that the bad karma will come back on me.

I'll admit that I have some things down in regards to this step Mom gig. I make a mean PB&J, watch silly movies with my step son, try to make him feel like he's as special to me as my son. What I don't know how to handle is his mother's poor attitude.

She, like many people, feel entitled. And, I'll admit to you right now that my husband SHOULD pay some child support. But that means that she should be spending at least some of that money on my step son. When we have to buy shoes and backpacks and socks and plain white t-shirts because she tells him that they're poor and don't have the money, well... it sticks in my craw.

And, I'll be honest, I don't know the best way to handle it. I know that I should take the high road. I know that I shouldn't any attention to her shenanigans. I know that it's not about me or her, it's about my step son and he will only be his age once. We will never have a do-over with the conversation that we just had and he'll either take away that I hate his mother or that I'm truly trying to listen to what he's staying.  So, it's even less about me and her... it's all about him.

I just have to remind myself of and breathe.

I will never understand why the courts haven't figured out that they are empowering people to be lazy money grubbing pigs. I don't care if you're referring to a Mom or a Dad, there are deadbeats out there.

But what do I know, I'm just the step-Mom, with the friggin' coupons.

Monday, May 13, 2013

Use the good stuff

Yesterday was Mother's day, which always makes me think of my own Mother. She's been going for almost 8 years now. And while I do get sad (sometimes really sad) when I think of what she's missing out on, I have remind myself that that's now life works. We live. We die. And what is in between is the good stuff.

I wanted to do brunch for mother's day, so my husband treated me to quite a nice restaurant where I had two  pomegranate mimosas (they were so good). So for dinner we decided to have a low key meal at home... turkey burgers and sweet potato fries. I cracked open a bottle of wine and before I could pour the wine, I decided to open a box of waterford crystal glasses that were a wedding present. I had not used these beautiful glasses in the 4 years we've been married. So, we had wine (in amazing glasses) with turkey burgers and thought about how special that was. 

I'm going to use those glasses a lot more and make ordinary days, ordinary dinners, a lot more special.