One of the most surprising things about being a Step Mom is not the angst or the eye rolling. I knew that I signed up to be the 2nd favorite person in the house. The most surprising thing has been my husbands Ex's petty stupid little games.
My least favorite (and most prevalent) game recently is sending my husband's call to voice mail... EVERY TIME HE CALLS.
When my step son Jay is with us, however, she calls... EVERY DAY. And expects to talk to him for an hour at a time. Not only does she call my husband's phone, she calls my phone, the house phone, every phone she can get her hands on... and acts like it's her right to talk with Jay. But what about my husband's rights?
Apparently, he's supposed to just send the child support check and not expect anything in return? I understand that divorce is complicated, however, there are innocent kids involved. When Jay came to visit us over Christmas, he was so excited about his Christmas presents that he took my phone and called his mother (ask me how happy I am about that one). The Wicked Witch of the West (WWW) did what she always does with my calls ... sends them to voice mail. You should have seen my step son's face.
He said "why wouldn't she pick up the phone"?
I told him, "she thought it was me".
He responded "oh yea, she doesn't answer the phone when you or Dad call".
This drives me crazy... this is the legacy you're leaving your kid? That his Dad is a deadbeat because.... why? Because he got tired of all the stupid petty little games played by you (Wife #1) and you're ticked that you lost your meal ticket and have to (GASP) WORK now. So, you're teaching your kid that his father isn't worth enough to answer the phone?
When I was pregnant with Baby C, I went in for my ultrasound with my husband. When I saw his tiny little feet and tiny little hands I cried... I cried through the entire ultrasound. I was suddenly overwhelmed with love and joy and a sense that this little person is my responsibility. That every little thing I do is being absorbed by this adorable boy and he'll emulate that in his life.
I came to a realization that I needed to be a better person for him... so that he would be a better person than me. I'm still trying to be a better person for him. That being said, I just don't understand why someone would want their child to be petty and play these same stupid little games. The only reason why I think they would want this is ...well, she's crazy.
What I'm learning about having this type of lunatic ex wife in the mix is that it's not uncommon. Apparently, my husband's ex is cut from the same cloth as many money grubbing, white trash women in this world. For every one of them there has to be someone like me, who's tired of the petty stupid little games.
So, for those of you who have been dealing with the same garbage on a daily basis, I feel your pain. Fight on, ladies.